I haven't tried to forget this, But I'm much too full of resentment

If this Rihanna tramp thinks she's gonna steal my man just by writing a song about an in-and-a-ment object, she's got another thing coming. But, just to be sure, I'm writing my own song about something I found in the house. Here's an exclusive sneak-peak for all you WWBD readers:

SALAD TONGS

In this african-american-female-rap-artist game, I'm the King Kong
When I play North Korea, they call me the il-est Kim Jong

You best answer the door when it goes 'ding dong'
'Cause I'm outside and gonna bring it to ya strong

And, yes, I'm packin' my own Salad Tongs

[Chorus - Jay Z]
Gonna toss this together like Hale & Hearty
I like my salad with onions, olives and the havarti
Don't want that low-fat dressing, give me the G Island
I like my salads crazier than Scott Weiland
H - O - V - A servin' it up for my girl bee-yon
Girl, you know how to work those salad tongs

When I was a kid I used to play the Pong
But I gave that all up for a life of song

If ya think you're going last in this game, you're dead wrong
In an another year, you'll be as famous as Nia Long

I'ma toss you both in a bowl with my Salad Tongs

[Chorus]

I've been kickin with Jay-z for eon[g]s
Consequently, I longer hang with you peon[g]s

My housekeeper's name is Li-Fong
I'm pretty sure she used to fight for the viet cong

But if she steps up to me, I slap her with my Salad Tongs

[Chorus]