What Would Beyonce Do?

By my side you been waitin’...

2007-06-27T10:46:00.000-05:00

...TO EAT ME. AGHHHHHH! I was performing at the BET awards wearing this great Princess Leia getup, when out of nowhere, Jabba The Hut showed up. It was the scariest moment of my life.

I haven't tried to forget this, But I'm much too full of resentment

2007-06-15T09:43:00.000-05:00

If this Rihanna tramp thinks she's gonna steal my man just by writing a song about an in-and-a-ment object, she's got another thing coming. But, just to be sure, I'm writing my own song about something I found in the house. Here's an exclusive sneak-peak for all you WWBD readers:

SALAD TONGS

In this african-american-female-rap-artist game, I'm the King Kong
When I play North Korea, they call me the il-est Kim Jong

You best answer the door when it goes 'ding dong'
'Cause I'm outside and gonna bring it to ya strong

And, yes, I'm packin' my own Salad Tongs

[Chorus - Jay Z]
Gonna toss this together like Hale & Hearty
I like my salad with onions, olives and the havarti
Don't want that low-fat dressing, give me the G Island
I like my salads crazier than Scott Weiland
H - O - V - A servin' it up for my girl bee-yon
Girl, you know how to work those salad tongs

When I was a kid I used to play the Pong
But I gave that all up for a life of song

If ya think you're going last in this game, you're dead wrong
In an another year, you'll be as famous as Nia Long

I'ma toss you both in a bowl with my Salad Tongs

[Chorus]

I've been kickin with Jay-z for eon[g]s
Consequently, I longer hang with you peon[g]s

My housekeeper's name is Li-Fong
I'm pretty sure she used to fight for the viet cong

But if she steps up to me, I slap her with my Salad Tongs

[Chorus]

Baby boy you stay on my mind

2007-06-11T14:24:00.000-05:00

My friend told me this weekend that you can buy anything on some website called Ebay. Well, that's great, cause I wanna buy this kid...

I figured he'd be fun to have around for parties or on the tour bus. When I get bored of dancing myself, I can just let him out of the box and watch him go. Can one you of you please show me where I can buy him? I'm willing to pay up to $250, though I'll need someone to do all the work since I don't buy stuff on the webernet.

You can bring the cuffs, if you would like to, if that's your style

2007-06-06T23:55:00.000-05:00

Turns out that maybe the bus company wasn't really Nelly Furtado's. Also turns out that she might be suing me now--something about salamanders and lying about bells. Straight up, I have no idea about any this legal mumbo jumbo. That's why I've hired the best lawyers I could find (based solely on website name, of course): MoFo. They assured me they don't get paid till I get paid, or till they bust a cap in her ass.

Then ya dynasty ain't complete without a chief like me, Partner let me upgrade you

2007-06-05T08:43:00.000-05:00

For those of you who read CHINAdaily, SAWF news and Zee News, you've probably heard the news about Jay-Z and me. Don't worry, nothing's official yet. While "me and Jay respect each other" (as I was quoted saying in that bastion of journalistic integrity, Stuff.co.nz--BTW, be sure to check out this fascinating piece on modelling), that level of respect is proportional to the size of the ring he buys me. I'll keep you posted.

'Cause you a bug a boo, a bug a boo

2007-06-03T14:43:00.000-05:00

Nelly, you no-talent, wannabe-rapper hack. You're making all us hot hip-hop supastars look bad. Didn't anyone tell you that when you drop your album, you're supposed to become a clothing designer, music producer or actress? Not a bus driver. Fool.

I do like your style, though. Where can I get this dress? Call me--let's do lunch you crazy stupid bitch. And keep your dirty cooch away from Timbaland--he's one of us (you can have JT).

Dip it, pop it, twirk it, stop it, check on me tonight

2007-05-23T10:57:00.000-05:00

I bet if Gandhi were alive today, he would totally be an ass man.

Larry Ellison is my new homeboy

2007-05-20T19:12:00.001-05:00

Dude can burn through cash like a true gangsta. $200 million for a boat that loses races? I'm pouring out a bottle of my Donaghey for you L-train. Dad, I hope you're taking notes. Only $32 million? On blow and hookers? You embarrass me. Call me when you're ready to play with the big doggs. L-E, keep on playin' playa. I just took out $150 million from the ATM, put it in the back of my Rolls and had my 12th assistant drive into the side of Jay's private jet. Your move.

Drop a couple hundreds tell him leave it at the door

2007-05-18T10:57:00.000-05:00

A lot of people say "the children are the future". I agree. Especially the prettier ones, because they have a better chance of being famous and famous people have a lot more money than unfamous people. If you have money, then you can give it to charities, like those that make time machines to go into the future. Thusly, children are the future.

10 Commandments: Beyonce Knowles

2007-05-14T16:47:00.000-05:00

For those of you who don't read a little paper called the Belfast Telegraph, I thought I'd just paste this article from Sunday's issue here to show how I'm making a difference around the globe with my interviews and dreams.

1. Never give up on your dreams.
Achieving them and inspiring other people to go after their own dreams is so rewarding.

2. Follow your creative side.
One of the things that kept me out of trouble, aside from my parents, was I was always a creative child.

Whether it was writing songs or writing poems or making clothes or dancing, putting on shows, whatever, it was something creative.

I just think that's so wonderful for kids.

3. Friendships are so important.
I've had small depressions; days when I've woken up and felt sad. I've got my religion and that is my therapy, although it is always good to have someone to talk to.

Thank goodness I have many friends.

4. Trust is really important in all relationships.
I really don't like people who aren't real people around me.

I don't like people who are 'yes' people. I don't like people who tell me what they think I want to hear.

5. Don't worry about what others might think of you.
I used to, but not any more. And I've been really happy with myself as a person ever since.

6. Nothing is perfect all the time.
There are plenty of days when I'm like 'Oh God, why?'. But that's just life.

Every moment is not perfect, but there are definitely more good times than bad. So be thankful.

7. Laughter really is the best medicine.
I am very attracted to someone who makes me laugh.

I'm just a sucker for somebody who can do that.

8. Accept responsibility as early as you can.
Even before I was 21, I was making adult decisions.

I had an adult job with adult responsibilities. I guess I was forced to mature with while with Destiny's Child.

9. Love is something that never goes out of style.
It's something everybody experiences. And if they are not in love, then most people usually want to feet romantic.

10. Work hard and deserve everything you have.
I never thought I'd have so much money. I just wanted to be financially stable.

But I have worked very hard to get where I am.

The best part of me, I gave you.

2007-05-11T14:11:00.000-05:00

I don't trust the government, so I definitely don't trust the post office. When I need to send something in the mail, I usually just send my 6th assistant (aka Pony Express) with $10 and an autographed photo of me and tell her to get that s#&t done.

But now that they be raisin' they prices on stamps, I am worried I may have to give her more... I mean $41 for one letter? The socks at House of Dereon don't even cost that much.

On a side note, if you want your own B'stamps, please go here. Just tell them I sent you, they'll hook you up.

This can't go on now

2007-05-10T01:00:00.000-05:00

Stupid gap-toothed Brits. Obviously I didn't order "Boston Market rotary chicken". First off, are they talking about a chicken or a phone? Seriously, WTF mate. And second, there ain't no way I'm eating no Boston Market. Everyone knows that stuff for crakers. I only eat the good stuff. Now that's what I call biscuits. Amen.

But the cards never lie, I thought I told you

2007-05-05T08:47:00.000-05:00

I've been taking a lot of flack for my post on the aliens. For all you haters out there, click here, here and here. Yeah, what you got now suckas?

Ain't no dialtones, just milestones.

2007-05-02T15:54:00.000-05:00

I read this thing about how someone wrote down what i said about radio and the web. I just wanted to clarify what I meant.

I've decided not to use the internet or radio b/c of the aliens that live in the wires and airwaves. I only use internet to B'log. But I want to make it clear that doesn't mean that any of you should stop (a) listening to my music, (b) looking at my pictures online or, especially, (c) buying my music online.

Or (d) all of the above PLUS don't stop reading this b'log.

I'm living in this world, I wanna make a change

2007-04-30T23:55:00.000-05:00

There is a growing epidemic among children today and I can no longer stand by not doing anything. I'm talking about kids who pick stupid ass email addresses. Kids these days just don't get it. In another 2-3 years, no one will use social security numbers (or names really). It'll just be, "what up pimpthatho@aol.com?" Or, "you be blinging 5caratstud@mac.com." So seriously kids, what are you thinking:

supermanrulez@hotmail.com? WTF?
horsieluver@gmail.com? Seriously, how's that gonna sound in 10 years?
john38267498@msn.com? Even your moms ain't gonna be emailing you, son.

This is why I've decided to open the BEYONCE INSTITUTE to TEACH CHILDREN HOW to e-MAIL (BITCHe). There, kids will learn the importance of choosing a pimpin' email address. There will also be staff there to teach children how to use T-mobile Sidekicks and Blackberries. To enroll, please visit our website: www.clownpenis.fart

I said yes we can be together...

2007-04-29T00:20:00.000-05:00

I don't really understand why everyone keeps aksin why this lady,Shakira, looks like me. Like, okay, in this article I read this morning, they had this picture and asked why we look alike. But, I mean they weren't even smart enough to get a picture of her... they just put up two photos of me.

Maybe it's cuz she ain't famous enough yet to have photos of her everywhere. I remember someone said she might do "Beautiful Liar" with me, but then punked out. So I had to play both parts. Like in this video:

So will someone please show me a photo of her so I know who to hate? Thanks.

Got me hoping you'll page me right now

2007-04-25T22:52:00.000-05:00

Can we all agree that The Verizon Guy peaked last year? Seriously, bro. Time to hang it up.* Get yo fat self some B'Juice.

2006:

2007**:

* Pun INtended
** May not be actual picture of The Verizon Guy

No, I'M crazy in love.

2007-04-24T11:43:00.000-05:00

Question: who the f are Snow Patrol and Switchfoot and The Magic Numbers and why the crap are they all singing my song, "Crazy in Love" in all these links?!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: if you're gonna copy me, do it with some spunk, or energy or choreography or backbeat or f*&^ing hot pants! Is it that hard? I think I set a pretty good example, I mean I work hard at it everyday. It's kind of my JOB. So I find it hard to believe that you people can't copy proper.

Just in case you decide to pull your heads out of your a$$es, I've copied the lyrics here and the video below. Step up. Now.

How you gon' upgrade me

2007-04-23T10:03:00.000-05:00

So this Des'ree hack thinks she can pull one past the B? Puh-lease. Truth is I wrote that song first and she stole it from me. What's that? I was only 3 when the song came out? Yeah, that's right, cause I wrote it in the womb. That's the kinda talent I'm bringing Des'ree[tard]. You can take your bald, no-talent self back to whatever ghetto you came from. Also, you look like a man.

Better catch a cab, Or get on a bus

2007-04-19T00:11:00.000-05:00

Guess what I learned after spending two hours walking around the UWS looking for some guy in a Rocawear bubble coat and doo rag? The E Train is an actual train.

You was on the wall, I was with my crew

2007-04-18T10:46:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I forget that these posts don't have to be as fabulous as everything else I do. Unlike me, they don't have to be a singer, rapper, actress, dancer, clothing designer & fashionista. Instead, they can sometimes just be my thoughts.

I read somewhere that someone thinks sequins are "lame." Furthermore, thinks I personally need a "sequin intervention." Well, let me tell you something, ESNEAD, whoever the f^&* you are, there is no such thing as a "sequin rut." Like my mama sand grandmama said, "you can never have too many sparkles." And sequins are how I like to express my sparkles personally. And mathematically, if you can't have too many sparkles... then you DEFinitely can't be "powerless over sequins." Who do you think you are? It's like... oh, wait, I guess then you say something about how I don't need the sparkles to "shine bright." Well, yeah I mean that was all I was saying.

But then you make fun of my wind machine. So, you out, ESNEAD. Out for good.

A note to fans

2007-04-16T21:57:00.000-05:00

My mom's hairdresser's daughter found this video last night, and I felt I needed to take the time to address some issues w/ my fans:

Pros
1. I appreciate the enthusiasm. Don't get me wrong, immitation is the highest form of flattery.
2. I'm so happy to be inspring the young generations. With kids as my followers, it won't be long until the next generation is filled w/ bootylicious connoisseurs.
3. Attempted choreography. Way to go, lil' man. I could teach you a lot, but already you have the makings of a true protegay.

Cons
1. Listen. If you're gonn go ahead and make your own Beyonce video please either:

purchase a "Make Your Own Beyonce Video" kit at www.beyonce.net, complete w/ banana skirt, halter and stilettos. These come in several different themes, from Deja Vu to Say My Name, you really can't miss.
please please please please please memorize the choreography from the original video. I just can't have messed up s*%t like this circulating on the line.

2. Also. Put on some better-fitting clothes. I don't care how young you are, where you are, what gender you are... I want to see somethin' sparkle.

Always remember, fans. If you represent Beyonce, you best ba-ring it.

You feelin my style, you feeling my flow

2007-04-13T07:47:00.002-05:00

Everyone's been talking about this Dan Imass guy recently and I felt that I could no longer stand on the sidelines and not discuss the issue. For those of you who don't know, this horse-faced cracker called the Rutgers' women's basketball team a bunch of "nappy-haired hoes".

I'm going to address these two claims separately. First of all, girls: seriously, look at yourselves. Then look at me. See the difference? Exactly. I know a great hair stylist. Actually, it's my moms. Call me. I'll see what she can do (except for you, tall girl--don't call me, you're beyond my help). Secondly, I'm not sure if these girls are hoes or not. I don't know them. They don't roll in my posse. We know they're ballers, so they're probably hoes too. Either way, a great man once said "Gs up, hoes down, while you motherfuckers bounce to this"

What about my body, body?

2007-04-12T12:50:00.000-05:00

I've been getting some fan mail askin' why I keep posing w/ my arms over my head these days. Besides the fact that it increases circulation and thereby enhances my ability to booty-shake, now is a good time as any to announce the pre-launch of my new deoderant / 'personal lubricant' "B'o".

It's still in development stages, but it should be droppin' this fall. Until then, enjoy my armpit poses and just remember... you, too, can have these pits soon.

Watch it while they check up on it

2007-04-09T01:42:00.000-05:00

While I know I'm on tv, radio, and the webinet like all day long and it's hard to miss one of my jams even if you tryin', I thought I'd compile a short list of my favorite sites about me just in case you need a fix.

You can go here or here or here or here or here or here if you want like general news, photos of me categorized by date, sub-categorized by event and cohorts. Go here if you want to see my movie roles.

Go here if you want to see my hot new clothing line "House of Dereon", read about my mama and grandma and their fashion inspirations on me, or hear the hot "Deja Vu" instrumental track.

Here is where a few of my songs can be bought like ringtones. Even though they don't have a lot, I like them because their slogan is "get dfrnt."

And try here if you need a new, trademarked B'ddy icon. This one's my fave:
Thanks for yo' support!

I'm not just the president, I'm also a client

2007-04-04T18:10:00.000-05:00

I'm talking about the International Society for the Promotion of Short Shorts (ISPSS). That's right, Ima gonna get all presidential on that org.

For the record, I had that gnomish minion fired and deported to Syria and framed for trafficking bootlegged episodes of Dora The Explorer (even though it turns out she's a US citizen).

A little sweat ain't never hurt nobody...

2007-04-03T14:47:00.000-05:00

Even though American Idol isn't technically about me, I decided to check it out last week and I realized it really IS about me! I had my assistant do some googling, and it looks like the favorite to win is Sanjaya Malakar.

I mean, come on... Be-yonc-e, San-ja-ya? This kid is all about interesting hair do's and big smiles, and I respect that. Plus, I read that she helped some girl lose weight just by her performances on American Idol! This is exactly what I look for in fans. If her fabulous singing weren't enough flattery-by-emulation, these photos below show how much she had dedicated to following in my footsteps. So, you go girl. Rock that Foxxy 'do and show 'em how we do.

I must confess, I'm really feelin you

2007-04-02T16:39:00.000-05:00

If you're like me, you can't get enough of me. And if you can't get enough of me, then you'll like this. I don't know who this Just Jared guy is, but I like him. But not as much as I like me. And not as much as he must like me.

Um???

2007-03-29T21:39:00.000-05:00

So, yesterday I found out that 'American Idol' isn't about me.

Pick up the phone, come on

2007-03-28T09:09:00.000-05:00

You have probably heard by now that I'm the new spokesperson for this Chinese company "Sam Song". I got a free cellie for doing it (even though I only use Vertu phones). Anyway, they gave me this phone and it can play all of my songs, which is totally dope cause that's all I listen to. But can someone explain to me how the hell the fit all my CDs into this tiny phone? I bet they got a shrinking ray from the Japanian people--they're crazy nerds like that.

Listen

2007-03-27T01:13:00.000-05:00

I've had a lot of fans write to me and ask what inspired me to write the Academy-Award nominated song 'Listen' from the Dreamgirls soundtrack. So here it is, boo:

One night in bed, J asked me why he wasn't in my Top Eight. I sat up and began to explain, "listen..." when I realized he'd probably understand better through song. So, I scribbled down a few thoughts, took a few minutes to choreograph some moves and tried and tried to say what was on my mind.

And that was it! My producers edited out the lines about Tom to make it more universal, but it totally works on like 4 levels.

Movies that I am not in

2007-03-26T08:50:00.000-05:00

Shooter - Went to see this with the H.O.V.A. He said it was going to be about basketball. It wasn't. I have no idea what it was about. There were a lot of white people shooting each other and I'm totally opposed to violence. Unless it's like really cool gangsta violence. I give this an Airball!

TMNT - Now this was a real movie. I like to think of it as a thinking-man's Spiderman. The acting was bangin'. I've seen turtles at the zoo before and they ain't got nothing on these 4. I give this a Turtle Power

Baby let me know if you wanna ride with this

2007-03-23T08:36:00.000-05:00

It felt really good helping all the Africans, so I decided to go help another really poor country that was far away -- Australia. It's a lot worse down here than I thought. I don't think I've seen a single Maybach since I've been down here, their Nutella tastes like crap and these poor people can barely speak english. There's clearly a lot of work for me to do down here, so I've added another show and am having my people ship 300 cases of Tab Energy down here for the Abodigital people.

Manifest my destiny

2007-03-22T11:45:00.000-05:00

I definitely don't drink. But if I did, I wouldn't drink too much. And if I did drink too much, I would definitely not get a hangover. But then if I had a hangover I would totally drink TAB Energy Drink

Not only does it have a can that's pink and cute, it is "fuel to be fabulous." And I obviously don't need any help with fabulosity, but for my fans who are always asking how I do it... grab a TAB.

Girl I didn't know you could get down like that

2007-03-21T08:05:00.000-05:00

I'm sure all of you have noticed I haven't updated the site in a few days. That's because for the past 72 hours straight, I've been drinking "B'Juice" and Googling myself. Well, actually, for the last 3 hours, I've just been watching this video on loop:

Haha. That never gets old!

Green light, green light

2007-03-17T02:31:00.000-05:00

In honor of whatever holiday it is where white people wear ugly green outfits, my gift to my fans is a photo of me. I know I'm not wearing green... but there's lots of green trees and the alligators are green. I tried to find a photo of me in the alligator jumpsuit I had made right after this shoot, but this is the best I could do.

Green doesn't work on everyone, so I'm thankful that I could make this photo pop.

I'ma be like a waffle cone that's drippin' down to the floor

2007-03-17T01:43:00.000-05:00

Sup, y'all. This is Sasha comin' to you from the kinky side of Beyonce's brain. I pick up where BK's "ethics" and "strict, Christian upbringin" stop short. I'm the one with the freakum dress. I am Foxxy Cleopatra. And, yes, I did write "Suga Mama."

I just hit up the blog from the club to clear something up. Beyonce may say she feels "sorry" for the children of destiny, but those bitches didn't leave room on stage for my uninhibited flow. So they had to go. Time to leave the show. We ain't got room for you, no mo'.

Time to get back to the flo', but please direct any further questions or comments to sasha.gettin.bodied@gmail.com.

Much success, no stress, and lots of happiness

2007-03-14T10:54:00.000-05:00

I often wonder what happened to all my former Destiny Child's members--Kelly, Michelle, LaTavia, LeToya and Farrah. I hope they're doing OK after I fired them and had my dad repossess all the crap I gave them.

Movies that I am not in (well, kinda)

2007-03-12T08:55:00.001-05:00

300 - This movie was about 300...um, well...so there are these 300 things and they...uh...go to this place where they play...um, no, um...OK, well, so here's the deal. I bought my ticket and was sitting in the theatre waiting for this movie to start and I began thinking, "300 is a really big number. A really really big number." And then I started to get nervous that there was going to be counting or math in the movie, cause I don't like math. Or counting. So I left, went home to my penthouse, ordered in from Per Se and put in one of my favorite DVDs instead. So, as a special treat to you, here's a review of...

Austin Powers in Goldmember - This movie stars me in the lead role and co-stars this hairy guy from some late night TV show. They wanted me to do the movie by myself, but we had to let the hairy guy and his pet midget in because I guess they were in the first movie or something. Well, anyway, I tried to act down to his level, but I still stole the show. Here's what some people said about my performance:

The big surprise is Beyonce Knowles who gives a very confident debut perf as sexy spy, Foxxy.
- Robin Clifford

...Foxxy Cleopatra — a striking presence thanks to Beyonce Knowles' outlandish but dynamite makeup and costuming.

- Mike Clark

Ms. Knowles knows how to strut that strut
- Stephen Holden

Beyonce is amazing. She's beautiful, hot, smart, sexy and looks great in the tight dresses. She's every bit as mesmerizing on the big screen as she is on her albums.
-Mom

I give this movie a Bootylicious.

Raise your hands if ya understand: B.C.

2007-03-09T08:31:00.000-05:00

See, so I get how our years work now. It's 2007. Then comes 2008, 2009, 2010, all the way to 2099. But how did all them people do it before Jesus? Y'know, back in the BC days? How did they know when Jesus was going to be born so that they could start counting down to 0? And did their months count down too? I asked my minister and he just shook his head, so I guess he don't understand neither. Maybe the dinosaurs figured it out. They was mad smart.

I'm not gonna compromise my Christianity

2007-03-08T09:58:00.000-05:00

I was watching this re-run of Oprah and found out about these bad things happening in Africa. Apparently they don't have it as good as we do over here and I feel terrible about it, so I immediately had my manager send over 1,000 copies of my double platinum CD "B'Day" and 100 copies of my hilarious, but heartfelt comedy "The Fighting Temptations" on DVD. I hope I can set an example for other musician/actor/producer/media mogul/clothing designers to start giving as generously as I have.

If anything I bling yo

2007-03-07T09:49:00.000-05:00

Seriously, don't you hate it when your Diamond Vertu phone gets scratched and you have to get a new one?

I love to love you baby

2007-03-05T08:48:00.000-05:00

I found this t-shirt online and had my fifth assistant order a million of them because people are always saying "I love you Beyonce" and I wanted to give them out to all my friends who worship me. But then the company was all like, "We can't send one million t-shirts", so my Daddy's going to sue them now.

Beyonce in 2010: I'm bringin' it

2007-03-05T08:40:00.000-05:00

After much ~~debileration~~ ~~delibbarration~~ thought, I have decided to enter the race for the Presidency of the United States! Unfortunately, with all my new videos coming out, I'm not going to be ready for the next election, so I have decided to run in 2010. Some people have told me there's no Presidential election in 2010, but my boyfriend Jay Z said he could hook it up for me, so take that haters! More updates to come on WWBD; maybe even t-shirts (with sequins, of course)!

Movies that I am not in

2007-03-04T00:57:00.000-05:00

Despite my best attempts, I can't be in every movie out there. So, as a service to my fans, I've decided to post reviews of new films each weekend. I hope this will help you sort through all the non-Beyonce movies out there. So, here we go:

Black Snake Moan - This was about a black guy who couldn't sing real good and a girl who was so poor that she could only afford half a shirt. I give it a No he din't!

Wild Hogs - Apparently, somebody remade Biker Boyz with white people. I give it a Cracka please!

Zodiac - I kept waiting for Miss Cleo to show up, but she never did, so I don't know what this movie was about. I give it a Wha Wha?

Well is you feelin that

2007-03-02T09:48:00.000-05:00

I bet if Serena Williams had kept winning tournaments, they would be calling her the "Beyonce of tennis" by now.

You stole everything

2007-03-01T00:45:00.000-05:00

Check it. My new video dropped today. My dad told me I could play both roles in the video, but then the director let that Mexican girl who can't speak English do it. Whatever. I totally killed it and she can't dance.

From the front to the back

2007-02-28T10:15:00.000-05:00

I've had a great time in L.A. this week, but I sincerely believe that Los Angeles is long overdue for a viable, city-wide public transportation system to meet the needs of its burgeoning immigrant labor force and address the urban sprawl issues. Also, my housekeeper's been late three times this week.

Bring the noise, make me lose my breath

2007-02-27T19:57:00.000-05:00

I'm no expert in politics (though I'm thinking of running for president in 2010), but in my book, if your name is "Scooter" you're guilty. Except maybe for this guy.

If ya feel it throw dem hands up

2007-02-27T08:57:00.001-05:00

Wait, so if your mom doesn't design your clothes, where do you get them?

Bounce baby, bounce, b-bounce bounce, b-bounce

2007-02-26T10:17:00.000-05:00

I'm truly happy for Jennifer Hudson. She's definitely going to be big. Really big.

To the left

2007-02-25T00:16:00.000-05:00

Brooklyn?! Where is that?

Got me hoping you page me right now

2007-02-23T17:55:00.000-05:00

I hope I get something nice for Black History Month